Wednesday, February 18, 2009

not too special

I have tried and true methods of dealing with feeling rejected, and I employed one of them last night. Andrew fed me a delicious fish dinner and then headed out the door to band practice. As soon as he was safely out of sight I snuck out to the store for treats to go with the luxurious evening of television and feeling sorry for myself that I had planned. (Not that he would have minded, but key to feeling truly sorry for oneself is the illusion that one is all alone and the world is against you. Sneaking helps with that.) Poor me, not getting picked for a baby our first week on the list!! Life just seemed much less exciting all of a sudden.

Andrew came home from practice to find me pathetically polishing off a frozen yogurt as the credits rolled for this week's Chuck.

He put his arms around me. "Don't worry baby, we're special. We'll get picked."

It shows how well my husband knows me that he was able to see right through my mouthful of frozen treats to the real problem. I let myself indulge in my signature quivering lower lip, the one that my Dad used to grab at playfully when I was a little girl and got too pouty. "We are special. We need a special baby."

My sweet husband smiled at me and kissed my lip back into place. I smiled back and the world seemed once again quite wonderful and livable. I could even imagine that it could be interesting and exciting again.

Andrew paused on his way out of the room. "Not too special."

And we both burst out laughing.


  1. Oh dear... hang in there! The waiting for adoption is as bad as the waiting to try to get pregnant.
    We waited for 5 months after being matched the first time. The mother kept her baby girl. FIVE days later we had our first son.
    Have you checked out the ABCadoptions site? or the Adoption Situations site? Sometimes they have postings for AA babies.

    Hang in there... and keep stocked with that frozen yogurt (Smith's Dairy is located here. We get Ruggles for $2/half's a good thing LOL)

  2. Cute post....

    Hang in there, some little kid will be stoked to have you as parents... you both seem so fun and lovable.

  3. So glad you have each other to love on during what has to be a nervewracking time.... YOUR baby is out there (I'm convinced) and I'm sure that one day you'll think back on all the babies you didn't get and think "Thank GOD because I couldn't imagine it any other way!" In the meantime- so glad for comfort food and a knowing/sweet hubby.

  4. aww you are all so lovely to me! :) I agree, I know that once we've got our little one we will be so very glad we got him or her and not someone else. Each little hurdle gets us closer...