Monday, April 6, 2009

Keeping "us"

Okay - I promise that this will be my last non-adoption related blog for a while, seeing as this is supposedly where I talk about our adoption stuffs and lately has been just about...well, stuffs.

But there is some relevance, and here it is: adoption, any family building, can be a long, hard process. One of the most valuable things I've learned since our journey began a couple years ago is that 1. Andrew and I are awesome and 2. without maintenance and joy we won't stay that way. It's really easy for me to get obsessed with goals and forget about enjoying us the way we are right now. Back when the first "should we have a baby and if so, how?" questions started coming up in our relationship all of the cons were around identity. We like us, we want to stay "us." I think it's easy for prospective parents, and parents in general, to lose who they are in the mad whirl of educating oneself, obsessing over child or obtaining child, putting together a parenting plan and connecting via the internets or other resources with other people who are "like me," or in other words "also a parent/prospective parent."

"I don't want to be that couple that stops doing stuff with our friends because we have a kid" Andrew said, more than once. I think what he meant, or at least what I heard was something like "I don't want us to stop being us because we have a kid."

Gradually, as we've grown into this whole we-want-to-be-parents thing, I've realized how important it will be to keep that "us" intact. In fact, I suspect, some of the unique pieces of who we are will go the furthest in making good parents out of us.

Also, reveling in the stuff we like to do is fun. And as much as we want to believe it won't be different post-kiddo, there will be a whole new person involved in our lives who will have opinions, priorities, and schedules of his or her own.

So - this past weekend we reveled. (*warning - intense geek factor*)

This weekend we went to Seattle Comic-con. For the uninitiated, this is a giant two day convention full of comics, artists, sci-fi actors and writers, tech geeks, steam-punk fashionistas, and game players of all kinds. Andrew and I are a blended family in the geek world, seeing as he comes from a primarily Star Wars/Comics/Movies background, and I myself have been firmly grounded since childhood in a Star Trek/Books/Television interface with the geek world. We somehow make it work, and find common ground in computers and the new Battlestar Galactica.

Some pics from our weekend (I don't look my best in some because I am starstruck. Andrew, being a more experienced performer and mid-way through marathon training manages to look amazing in all of them.)

with Aaron Douglas, Tahmoh Penikett, and Michael Hogan from Battlestar Galactica:

Cuddling with Michael Hogan who much more huggable and less drunk than his character on BSG.

And my personal favorite: Me and Wil Wheaton. I adored him as a pre-teen watching Star Trek TNG (wrote him letters, even) and he's even better to adore fan-style as an adult. He always takes time with fans, never charges for autographs, and is geninuely fun to imagine being friends with. Which, really, is the best part of being a fan, right? (oh, he also writes a wonderful blog, and really sweet joyful books.)

And for good measure, the love of my life, with his self-designed BSG T-shirt. (pardon his french...)

Those last two pics were by my dear friend and personal photog JennyJ, who shot a slideshow of the 'con for the Seattle Weekly, in which Andrew and I make an appearance or two.

This, at least, will be an annual event that will be fun to bring baby to - there were tons of wrapped up, strollered little geeks-in-training running around - and I'm already dreaming of Andrew flipping through comics with a wee one's sticky fingers helping him turn the pages. At least the comics he's got doubles of.

Okay, back to the regularly scheduled programming. For reals this time, I promise.


  1. Looks like you all had a fun time! I have always heard great things about Comic-con.
    I love, love, love the picture of you with Wil Wheaton. I had such a major crush on him, too.

  2. Ok - super cool! I am maybe 1/2 geek - of the Star Wars/Star Trek/books genre. I love the pics and especially the one with you and Wil.

    And so true what you said about maintaining "us". It is important to not be swallowed up in the desire for a child.