Tuesday, August 4, 2009

oh yeah - it's also okay to be excited!

Yesterday Andrew made a trip to our agency's office and dropped of 16 new profile books to be sent to two new agencies that will be added to our roster. I honestly don't remember how many we have on that roster now. This either brings the total number of agencies with our profile to eight or ten.

So I'm riding on a bit of a paperwork-high at the moment. This is a feeling similar to how I felt back in February when we were first out there. Anything can happen! And it can happen soon!

It's a nice place to be.

Liz emailed me today to let me know that the books are on their way to the agencies, and to let me know about some of the special procedures these agencies follow. One will want a phone conference with us to get to know us better, the other will be sending an acceptance letter to us once they've reviewed our application materials. At the end she signed off with the following:

I go back and forth on what I predict you will be matched with (right now I’m leaning toward girl).


I don't know why it surprised me, but it did. She's invested in us! I thought to myself with a grin. She thinks we're special! And then I started to wonder...will it be a boy or a girl? I haven't even thought about it, not for weeks. In fact, I've been spending so much time dealing with my own emotions, thinking about racial issues, and obsessing over financial planning that I've forgotten to wonder very much about our little one. It's been months since I've even looked at the cloth diapers I bought on a whim in March, much less practiced with them on my cabbage-patch doll. She was getting changed regularly for a quite a while there don't laugh it can't hurt to practice!! We loaned our moby wrap to my brother and sis-in-law, and even though they don't use it anymore I haven't bothered to get it back.

I'm leaning toward girl, too, turns out. We'd be more than happy for a boy - really we have zero preference- but thinking about it I realize that I've had baby-girl on the brain more often than not lately. Our girl name rocks, I have to say. But our boy name is also pretty super.

I've told a couple people lately that we're excited but not excited. Because really, it is impossible to maintain high levels of excitement for 6 months without loss of mind.

But, today, I'm excited. Because Liz is leaning toward girl, and it's not hot outside anymore. Because there are new profile books headed towards Georgia and Florida, because for every day of waiting there is a possibility in the wings, also waiting to find me. I feel excited, I feel like life is good, and I'm gonna go with it, as long as it lasts.

9 comments:

  1. Off topic: Enrolled our kiddos in VBS at nearby black Baptist church. They are LOVING it. Everyone there has been SOOOO gracious to us. My kids haven't noticed that all other kids are black :-). The boys had so much fun yesterday, they invited our neighbor girl tonight. She's white... and she didn't notice all the kids were black. Now, her brother wants to go also! Goofy kids...

    Katie

    ReplyDelete
  2. Exciting news about all the new profiles out there. In my part of Canada, you can only have one file open at one agency at a time.

    Hoping for really good news soon!

    PS. I too really do believe that color blindness isn't what we should strive for but rather that in an ideal world regardless of race there would be justice and equality.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Katie - how wonderful! I think that is a great way to get your boys involved somewhere that eventually, when they DO notice, they'll be able to have the sorts of role models you'll want for them.

    Lavonne - our agency is pretty unique, we are with one agency - WACAP - but they give profiles to lots of other agencies, agencies that don't have enough prospective parents for their bmoms to choose from. I keep checking your blog for updates...I do love gelati. ♥

    ReplyDelete
  4. We are excited for you! But what in the world am I gonna do with all these boy clothes if you get matched with a girl? :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. I love Liz! She is so communicative and supportive. That's really cool. I'm glad you're excited - I'm excited for you.

    ReplyDelete
  6. How exciting! Its so wonderful to feel optimistic. In the midst of our IVF process sometimes I wonder if optimism will ever really surround me again. (?)
    Anyway - wanted to give you a link to a new website I've been on - tons of great information and support in the Adoption area.
    Check it out!

    http://www.inspire.com/groups/finding-a-resolution-for-infertility/topics/adoption/

    ReplyDelete
  7. That's right. Take the happy moments and rejoice in them. Sometimes they are few during the wait.
    That's great that she shows a real interest in your family. It always helps to know that the person helping you bring your baby home really cares.

    ReplyDelete
  8. awww cute!!! and ridiculous that i'm commenting while i'm IMing you..

    ReplyDelete
  9. i'm so excited for you. everyday i check to see if you've been matched!

    coco, WACAP AAI waiting 1 month, 4 days

    ReplyDelete