Thursday, September 24, 2009

anxiety

The toughest thing about this, right now, is the (wait for it...) waiting.

Oh, wait, that has always been the toughest part about this. Realizing this makes me feel a little better.

I talked to V briefly yesterday and she was going to call me back. She didn't, and when I called today I got voicemail.

I am sure there are a million good reasons for this. Ours is not the only adoption on her plate right now, Atlanta is chaotic at the moment, Y is also experiencing some chaos that V is doing her best to work with/around and despite the fact that V has insisted that she is always available, I'm sure she must have a personal life. So I'm not upset.

But I'm anxious. I want someone to call me everyday and tell me that things are going forward and looking good. Or tell me something, at least. It's hard not to start off on a string of what-ifs that end up nowhere good.

So this is my challenge for the next few weeks. To breathe deep, remember my center, and start practicing the openness and flexibility that I will need as a parent. It's not about me, it's about that baby - whatever the outcome of today, tomorrow, three weeks from now, or the rest of this entire process might be.


But if she doesn't call by the time I get off work I am calling again, time difference be darned. That's right, darned!

4 comments:

  1. You guys have been on my mind a lot this week- I hope that the time passes quickly and that the baby is in your arms (for good) soon.

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  2. Congrats on the match! Three weeks is a good amount of time to get ready--totally doable. Long enought to put things in order, but not so long that you go absolutely crazy. I promise, it will go faster than you think! We were contacted and spoke to Woob's first mom on a Sunday, told we were chosen a week later, and exactly three weeks later, our son was born! Best of luck to all of you as you navigate through this joyful/anxiety-ridden time!

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  3. Just remember the old advice, "No news is good news!" :-)

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  4. Hi there, I found you through Stirrup Queens. I have to say that today was one of those tough days - when I had to remind myself that the world is not out to get me, that it's not about me, blah, blah, blah and to chill out. Our due date for our expectant mother has been changed by 3 weeks and when I found out, I didn't take it too well. Cause the waiting is the worst part. I hear you. So much is out of our control, you just want somehow to reassure you along the way.

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