The toughest thing about this, right now, is the (wait for it...) waiting.
Oh, wait, that has always been the toughest part about this. Realizing this makes me feel a little better.
I talked to V briefly yesterday and she was going to call me back. She didn't, and when I called today I got voicemail.
I am sure there are a million good reasons for this. Ours is not the only adoption on her plate right now, Atlanta is chaotic at the moment, Y is also experiencing some chaos that V is doing her best to work with/around and despite the fact that V has insisted that she is always available, I'm sure she must have a personal life. So I'm not upset.
But I'm anxious. I want someone to call me everyday and tell me that things are going forward and looking good. Or tell me something, at least. It's hard not to start off on a string of what-ifs that end up nowhere good.
So this is my challenge for the next few weeks. To breathe deep, remember my center, and start practicing the openness and flexibility that I will need as a parent. It's not about me, it's about that baby - whatever the outcome of today, tomorrow, three weeks from now, or the rest of this entire process might be.
But if she doesn't call by the time I get off work I am calling again, time difference be darned. That's right, darned!