We talked to Y, the baby's mother, on the phone this morning. It went really well. I am determined not to make any decisions yet, but after talking with her and clicking with her and just hearing in her voice the love she has for this child we feel humbled and torn. She wants us to come right away, I think. Much of me also wants this, however the agency very much wants us to wait. So we're not going to make the call yet. One step at a time.
If we do wait a few days then the baby will go to a special "care home." Because this is the law in Georgia, this ten day waiting period, the agency has several families available and ready to take care of babies during that time. There is always only one baby in the home, and there is a 24/7 caretaker there, usually a grandmotherly type person I believe. V is going to schedule a care home for this baby tomorrow, and have the woman whose home it will be connected to me and to Y. So we will be able to talk to her, and if she ends up being the person to take the baby home from the hospital she will be available to talk to us every day, send pictures, and even set up video chat if we want. I want to see if this makes Y feel better. Again, we haven't made the decision yet.
But the most important thing, today, is that I feel we have a good connection with Y. It's heartbreaking and encouraging all at once. We were able to say important things to her, laugh a little with her, and listen to her talk about herself, her family and her life. I got the distinct impression that her connection to our profile has a lot to do with Andrew - his creativity and musicality. We talked about names, and she doesn't want to have input. She seemed to like the ones we have been thinking about - when we explained our girl-name to her (it is an important word from the Bible AND a character from X-men) she laughed out loud. And loved it. When the conversation started she was open with her feelings, that she doesn't know if she can handle meeting us in person. When we said goodbye she said she was looking forward to meeting us. We were clear that she's driving that bus, it is up to her, but we will be ready when she is for contact and openness.
So from here on out it is one step at a time.
The past two nights I have lain awake in the dark, mind racing, unable to sleep except in fits and starts. Tonight I am going to watch the Emmy's, laugh at my beloved Neil Patrick Harris, eat good food with friends and do my best to relax so that I can sleep tonight. I'm hoping that I won't have too many more opportunities to sleep all night uninterrupted.