Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Number 100.

So - this is my 100th post on the A+A Adopt a Baby blog.

I had a plan for this post. It involved pictures of a certain baby and some sweet satisfied commentary from me about the symmetry of it all and how the sleep deprivation was all worth it and oh heck, who knows. It was going to be awesome, though.

So, scrap that. I can't write a 100th post that will be anything but the post that wasn't that post so I choose to bore you with some housecleaning type details instead.

1. Goodbye Liz, hello Marla. Our sweet Liz has moved on to managing the Thailand program at WACAP, leaving us quite bereft. Well, actually any sort of change leaves me feeling bereft at just this moment. Anyways, apparently someone in power looked around and realized that Liz speaks Thai and that this other lady, Marla, has actually adopted domestically before and some quite appropriate changes were made. I was feeling a little resentful of it, seeing as I can be irrationally loyal, but Marla was the WACAP person who actually saw us through this experience and she was great and will be great I am sure.

2. Back out there. Marla has assured us that she emailed all the WACAP matching agencies last Friday to let them know we're once again available to be shown and matched. Yesterday I decided I want to know whatever she knows, at least these first few weeks, as far as us and being shown goes. I feel like knowing other expectant moms are looking at our book will help bring some final closure to the Y chapter for me.

3. Georgia Agency feels real bad. V informed us before we got on the plane back to Seattle that we'd been moved to the top of their list. I'm not sure what exactly that means but from what she said it's the list for anytime a first mother decides to let the agency choose parents for a baby. I can't imagine that it happens very often, but V seemed to think that it does and she knows more than I do. So...that sounds pretty good.

And my brief philosophical reflection on this, my hundredth blog post? I no longer believe in symmetry or pattern in this whole family building process. When we were trying to get pregnant I was always looking for symmetry. If it happens this month the baby will be born on our birthdaversary! If it happens this month we will have been trying for exactly one year! Throughout this adoption process I've been doing the same thing, to some extent. It'll happen as soon as I start school. It'll happen as soon as we plan a vacation. It will be SURE to happen by my 100th post. Now I feel suspicious of my logic - there was so much symmetry in this match and then it failed.

Oh well. It'll happen when it happens. Or, more importantly perhaps, this will happen.

There. That's pretty much as jaded as I will allow myself to get. ♥

11 comments:

  1. I've rewritten this comment several times now, because really, what can I possibly say that won't sound trite or asinine. I am so sorry. I do believe that your baby is out there, and I hope that you are able to find comfort in that.

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  2. Hi,
    We are adopting domestically too. We had a little munchkin Francine for almost four months. LOONG story. Miss her a ton, but we are back on the list. You are breaking my heart, but I am thinking about you and the kiddo and birthmom. Love how you write about birthmom and her tough choice. Best! Here's our blog, although I haven't really written too much about the crazyness.
    http://familyfunsite.blogspot.com/

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  3. Wanted to add my support. I do hope things move quickly for you -- you have admirably described your approach for getting through this tough time and I do think your thought process is well centered and strong. Positive thoughts to you and your DH.

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  4. Just writing to tell you I love you. ♥ ♥ Your baby is out there. I know it. (And hopefully your baby is out there in St. Louis!) wink wink.

    ♥ Meg

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  5. I admire your strength, A and A! Together, you can conquer anything! <3

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  6. Congrats on 100 posts, and I hope you have your baby in your arms very soon!

    LFCA

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  7. It WILL happen - and hey, the agency picked Cupcake's Mom! So I know that it DOES happen. And when it does, I know you can have an amazingly wonderful child like my daughter :)

    Still keeping you in my thoughts.

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  8. I think you're admirably un-jaded considering. I'm sorry that the symmetry didn't work out, I know exactly the feeling, I just can't help thinking those 'if it happened this month' thoughts. Thanks for all of those 100 posts. We are all sending lots of love.

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  9. Congrats on #100!

    I hope you are holding your little baby before you know it

    LFCA

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  10. I am new here via Athena's blog. I do believe as you said in your revious post that "your" baby is out there, and God knows exactly which one that is. Glad to find a blogger that lives some what close by. I am waving hi from Victoria, BC.

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  11. Here from LFCA. Yes, I know what you mean about symmetry. If this cycle had worked, "my child and my sister's would be just one year apart!" So much for that.

    Thinking of you and hoping this process flies by.

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