Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Post-Placement Visits and what comes next

While Baby J was napping yesterday morning I rushed about the condo a bit, getting things marginally straightened up for the VIP guests we were expecting in the afternoon. Longtime readers will remember Karen, the social worker who did our initial homestudy. Yesterday she came back to do our first of two post-placement visits and to our delight she brought Marla along!

We had a great time. J was asleep at the beginning, and woke up just enough to spit up on Marla and then spend the rest of the visit dozing in Andrew's lap. Karen asked us questions about bonding and J's development and we gave her a printout of the doctor's report from her last pediatrician visit. (Did I tell you? 9lbs 6oz! Our girl is growing by leaps and bounds!) It felt a lot like having good friends over for tea, only the kind of good friends where you don't have to ask them any questions about their lives. They just wanted to hear about us!

My favorite part, honestly, was listening to Andrew talk. My husband is often shy in groups, or with people he doesn't know well, but when the topic is one that he feels especially enthusiastic about it can be hard to get a word in edgewise. It was hard to get a word in edgewise. But I didn't mind a bit. It is pretty amazing to know that there is another person who completely understands my feelings for my daughter and totally shares them. And it's kind of beautiful to watch my sometimes quiet partner light up because the topic at hand is our little girl and well, the audience was somewhat captive.

After a couple of hours we bid them goodbye with a viewing of the Babies trailer, which Karen hadn't seen yet. We'll see Marla again later this week at the WACAP Holiday party. Our last post-placement visit is set for February and I have high hopes that we will be able to finalize in early spring.

So between now and then what happens?

So at the moment we have legal custody of J, but we are not her legal guardians. The agency in Georgia is - J's first mom relinquished J to the agency and not to us. The agency is responsible for making good placements for babies that they hold guardianship for, so the post-placement visits and follow-up is part of that process of making sure that things are going well. Georgia requires two follow-ups before an adoption can be finalized along a specific timeline that we are following. WACAP will help us make sure that we adhere to the guidelines, that's part of their job after placements are made.

In the meantime, we're enjoying our little one! I am on maternity leave through the end of the year, and then will start back to work at half time (20 hrs a week) in January, and will be doing a couple classes next quarter as well. Andrew is finishing up school early next week and then he's all done until January too. We consider ourselves quite blessed in that between my flexible part time work schedule and his school schedule Baby J won't need to be in any sort of daycare for the foreseeable future - one of us will always be with her. And of course with grandparents close by and my brother's family just up the freeway, and our amazing community here in our building there are a lot of temporary childcare options at our fingertips.

I have been reading all your comments, by the way! I have a post in the works about adoptive breastfeeding (did you know that was possible?), one on bonding, and more in my TAC Bill of Rights series. I'll be getting to those in between catching up on some of the freelance web work that's been lagging since the advent of my daughter, addressing birth announcements and hanging out with my sweet little family. So, you know, soon-ish.

What's that? You want pictures?
Reaching for Daddy.

J is not as excited for bath time as Mommy is. This is because she didn't know that we got her one of those fancy European bucket things. She loved it, which is a far cry from her loudly expressed feelings about bath time before its arrival. And yes. That is a ducky robe. ♥

Okay, Internet. If I don't take a shower now (Andrew home, baby asleep, 2pm) it will never happen.

Be well. ♥


  1. What a beauty!! --If you keep posting pictures, you will get so sick of me telling you that she is gorgeous, but I will comment undeterred.

  2. Thanks so much! Thanks for the awesome pict's that keep those of us in the "wait" dreams alive, and thanks for the future blog on adoptive nursing as well. Looking forward to seeing you all at the WACAP Holiday celebration Friday!

  3. Love the pics, as always!

    So happy for you. If I don't talk to you again soon, have a GREAT first CHRISTMAS AS A MOMMY!!!!!

    Love you Beth!