I took a deep breath stepping out the door yesterday morning at 8:45am. It was the beginning of seeing how all our plans are going to work, the first part of the test of the rest of our lives. I'm calling it the "we can have it all" test. I'll write more later about what it means to us to be co-parents with each other, and some of the "co" values that Andrew and I have around building our life and our family together. Right now what it means, on the ground, is that we're both in school, both parenting, and I am also working 20-30 hours a week total at two jobs (both flexible, both jobs I love), plus teaching congregational development and maybe doing a couple consulting projects over the course of the year. We think we can do this. Now that January 2010 is here, we get to find out.
I arrived at class about two minutes after nine yesterday morning, a little out of breath and pretty sure I was going to get a parking ticket. (I was right.) One of the two women co-teaching the course read this poem/blessing at the beginning of class, to help us all center ourselves. I found it so very helpful, and wanted to share. I know that many of those who read this blog, my personal friends and those who lurk and/or read for topical interest are in places where you are beginning something brand new or waiting in desperate hope for a new beginning. This is for you.
For a New Beginning
In out-of-the-way places of the heart,
Where your thoughts never think to wander,
This beginning has been quietly forming,
Waiting until you were ready to emerge.
For a long time it has watched your desire,
Feeling the emptiness growing inside you,
Noticing how you willed yourself on,
Still unable to leave what you had outgrown.
It watched you play with the seduction of safety
And the gray promises that sameness whispered,
Heard the waves of turmoil rise and relent,
Wondered would you always live like this.
Then the delight, when your courage kindled,
And out you stepped onto new ground,
Your eyes young again with energy and dream,
A path of plenitude opening before you.
Though your destination is not yet clear
You can trust the promise of this opening;
Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginning
That is at one with your life's desire.
Awaken your spirit to adventure;
Hold nothing back, learn to find ease in risk;
Soon you will be home in a new rhythm
For your soul senses the world that awaits you.
From Jon O'Donohue's To Bless the Space Between Us: A book of Blessings