Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Second time around

So, blog world, there's been something cooking in the A+A family for over six months now. Something we just weren't ready to go public about just quite yet for a number of reasons.

We are adopting again. We've been in the process, going slow and taking our time for quite a while.

Almost a year ago I had lunch with Marla, our WACAP Adoption Coordinator, just to catch up and whatnot. As we were walking back to the office she mentioned off-hand that there were a couple of grants left, grants like the one we recieved for J's adoption. Without the grant she wouldn't be ours, this I can promise you. "You should think about applying," Marla said. "If they aren't assigned this year they will go away."

I laughed, but when I got home Andrew took one look at my face, used his spouse-vision to see into my brain where the wheels were turning and said "What are you planning now?"

It was impossible, it was too soon, we were in no position. So I tabled it. By September we were seriously considering stopping with one kiddo. J had started sleeping all night and it seemed silly to even contemplate giving all that up. But yet...

December rolled around and I checked in with Marla again. There was still a grant. There were a great many discussions around the A+A house, much back and forth was had. I'll blog all about it sometime, how we made this choice, but in the end we turned in our new adoption application at the final hour and were accepted back to WACAP at the very end of 2010.

But we didn't want to talk about it - Andrew was still in school, we were still in no position, and we were going to take absolutely as long as we could with our paperwork. Then, when everything was done some bombshells dropped. One of these is private, not bloggable at the moment. The other is public knowledge to any families in WACAP's AAI program - WACAP decided to shut the program down, only keeping families that were already accepted.

So, not only did we squeak by with the grant but we were also the last family accepted into this particular adoption program. It all felt like a lot, especially not-bloggable bombshell number one, so we've been keeping quiet.

But yesterday night when Andrew was in the shower and I was brushing my teeth, I felt like it was time to go public with our plans. He is graduated, employed, launched. I am starting to feel the space to truly wonder who is out there for us, to imagine my J as a big sister to a special small as-yet mysterious someone. It's been so different, this time. My mom says it is always different for the second one, both less exciting and more fun. She says this to me, her second one, so I wonder if when I tell my next son or daughter this story eventually I will also wear that same soft smile that she has when she gives me this advice.

"Baby, I think it's time." I said through the shower curtain.

"Okay," he replied. "For what, though?"

"To go public about M," I replied. Yes, I have a name in mind already, as silly as that is.

"Oh," my love sounded nonplussed. "I didn't realize we had a moratorium on that. Sure, go ahead."

So there it is - we're all in, once again. I wasn't doing all that great of a job with making this a blog about stuff other than adoption anyways. Because of not-bloggable bombshell number one we know that fall is the soonest a baby might come our way. As with any process like this it could be much later than that. But it's happening. I'm starting to believe that our little second one is out there.


  1. Oh, congrats again to you. I love reading about how you puzzle through these huge decisions; the love and tenderness you as a family share is so apparent through your writing. You've answered some of my questions (Are you going through WACAP? Did you make it in to AAI before it closed?), but raised so many more. And the nature of adoption and parenting just seems to be ever more questions. Looking forward to hearing more about adoption #2 as it unfolds.

    (fellow WACAP-er Sarah B)

  2. Sarah - you can always msg me on facebook! I am curious what questions you have. :)

    Evergreen - I miss your blog. ♥

  3. Congratulations!! I am SO excited for you three!

    I loved your last post too, about sharing/not sharing. I can definitely relate. Miss you!

  4. Congrats! -New Blog Follwer! We just started adoption #2 about a month ago! We start out homestudy in 2 weeks!!!

  5. I'm so thrilled for you all. Watching your little girl grow into a big sister is such a wonderful experience and you will learn so much about J. I can't wait to read more as things unfold.

  6. So exciting! CONGRATULATIONS! You've made me very interested in notbloggable bombshell #1. But I'll mind my own business. :-)
    Looking forward to seeing your second little one when he or she makes an appearance.

  7. I can't wait welcome baby #2 into the family! :-)

  8. That's wonderful news, I'm very excited for you all. I believe that your mysterious someone is out there too. Fantastic news, it feels like something big is around the corner!

  9. ps. I like the new warm colour of your blog background and I also like your non-adoption posts, I like coming over to read your blog because I often walk away from the screen with something to contemplate.

  10. YAY!!! :) So happy for you all as you move forward on this next part of the journey! (And there is NO shame in having the name. LB and I often refer to future babies by their names already, haha!)

  11. Thanks everybody!! It feels really good to have it out there and be able to blog about the process, etc.

    Debbie - I hope I will be able to blog about our not-bloggable thing someday!

  12. Oh, yay! I am excited for you. And I am very interested in learning more about how you decided not to have an only child, and when to dive back in, as that is a topic much on my own mind lately...

  13. so exciting!! :D <3

  14. FINALLY had a chance to read this (I was saving it). I am SO EXCITED to hear this (and I'm sure my mom, also known as J's stalker, will be too!). Although now I am overcome with curiosity about the "unbloggable thing." I'll be back in September and can't wait to see how J has grown (those laundry pics were THE cutest).

  15. wow! congrats on jumping in for #2! i've been so bad with reading blogs but popped in today to see what was up with you and i'm glad i did. looking forward to reading about your second experience and how it differs and is similar to the first one.

    and love the pics:)