Saturday, September 10, 2011

There would be no us without (all of) you

J is sputtering down to sleep in her pack n play, all of her stalling tricks deployed and nothing left but to bite the bullet and go to bed. Andrew is sitting behind me on the red couch that my friends and family on facebook must be completely tired of seeing in pictures by now, whispering sweet nothing into tiny baby ears. And I am sitting at the computer thinking about all of you out there. Yes, you - the ones who do and don't read this blog, our family biological and chosen, the urban tribe of folks I know in real life and here in this world of type and photo: the people who love us in all the ways you do. It is impossible to count them.

You are our family: my mom who traipsed all over figuring out how to wire money to our account so we'd have enough for "everything" with our early baby, Andrew's step-dad who immediately booked us a hotel, and his mom who arrived today to help out with everything. Andrew's dad and my parents and our siblings who waited with us, and rejoiced with us when we found out that she was to be ours.

You are our neighbors - news spreads like wildfire in our building and all week as we prepared and waited baby things kept showing up outside our door. One day it was a bag of newborn clothes, the next a moses basket. Someone brought us a bassinet and there are more clothes and diapers waiting there for us when we get home.

You are my far away ladies - the three of you out there - whose ridiculous generosity and unlimited willingness to share my joy and pain I rely on more than you'll ever know. Maybe. You're all pretty darn smart so, maybe you do know.

You are the bloggers who are brave and honest about your experiences with parenting, adoption, race, and life who educate me as I make big decisions in what can feel like dangerous territory.

You are the invaluable cloud of support that we find ourselves at the center of in moments like this moment - who text and call and answer calls and post lovely jubilant words under facebook photos and announcements and read these words I write and just love us so very well in all the big and small and visible and invisible ways that you do.

So I am thinking about you and it occurs to me that you - all of you - are a big part of why there is an us. I know without a doubt that I bring my girls not only into the little family of Andrew and I plus them, but that because they are ours they are also to some degree yours. You are part of what makes our us so good. We wouldn't be the same without you. We wouldn't be us without you.

So thanks. We love you, too.


  1. I feel so fortunate to have you guys in my life. (weep)

  2. I am *dumbstruck* by your amazing news of the last few days! Wow! Wow! Wow! How truly amazing! Congratulations to all of you.

  3. I've been reading your blog since last winter when I was looking for advice about how to work with my daughter's hair. Like you, I'm a mom through adoption, in a very open adoption with our daughter's birthmom. My daughter is bi-racial with wild wonderful hair (and she's 2.5 yo). I learn so much through your blog about having an interracial family. Having lived in Seattle (now I'm in Portland) - I love reading about how much you love your hometown and how you are making your small home work for you all. Your quest for kid #2 warmed my heart. CONGRATULATIONS! Your spirit and joy makes my day!

  4. Luvvvs to you, Andrew and the girls... our families are forever intertwined in adoption land, interracial (or in my case multi-racial) family/parenting land and most importantly, friendship land! Three cheers for family and the wonderful ride of adoption and trusting in God that this is his plan, and then being so beyond words blessed, your family, just like ours, is a true testament to how "out of our hands" these things are. And, honestly, the details and twists and turns that both your family and mine have gone through are not something that could ever be explained, it is "God thing" as we like to call all the things that have lined up for us to receive our two children. Praying you have a safe trip home, and praying we'll be leaving on our journey out very soon :)