|Date night - one way we kept our birthdaversary this year|
I'm now a good three months out from my CPE experience, and a lovely spring break full of old and new lady friends, long talks with beloveds, time spent with neighbors eating and laughing, several fantasy novels and plenty of family time away from winter quarter. I turned 35, Andrew turned 33 and our marriage turned 8. It feels like a good time to write here again.
One of the unexpected consequences of living in a world where CPE is behind instead of ahead of me is that suddenly my future as an ordained person seems close enough to almost touch. I am realizing that after this quarter all my lasts will begin - my last summer as a postulant, my last year in school, my last stretch of time without a weekly Sunday commitment, the last time in my life where I can belong to a congregation the way a layperson does and, as a priest, I will never again be able to. I thought a lot about this as I sat with J in the darkness of the 5am Easter Vigil, about how special it was to sit with her holding candles and how someday it will seem more normal for my children to watch me up front than to sit with me during mass. All to say, I think the coming year will be a sweet time and for the first time in my postulancy (the period of time I have been in formal training as a future priest) I don't feel like rushing through. I want to enjoy every minute, looking eagerly forward but not in a rush because all of it, perhaps especially the longing and anticipation, deserved to be lived into and experienced fully.
|Fire and Water, near sundown on the first day of Easter|