Friday, November 8, 2013

about this time...

baby J, brand new.
Four years ago about this time I was writing this post and putting myself to bed for my first night as a mother.  I can still remember the car ride, the Georgia sunshine, and the sound of my heart rattling around inside my chest in the interminable minute between ringing the doorbell at J's care home and the moment Granny Moon opened the door and ushered us in to the light filled room where Melvin sat holding the baby. Our baby.

I didn't cry that day - it was too bewildering and fast and bizarre and full of feeling for me to even touch my brain to my heart to figure out what was happening.

Tonight, four years later, I sat next to Andrew in the cafeteria of our local elementary school, S on my lap, and watched that same person, the tiny baby we held for the first time in 2009, perform a little play and some songs with the other preschoolers in her class. She stood tall and took it very seriously. She fills up my heart, every day, that magical beautiful life-changing child of mine.
we still got it. photo by JennyJ, more here if you are interested.

1 comment:

  1. Hey Alissa,

    My name is Karen. I'm 31 and live in Utah with my husband and two adopted children. I have an african american daughter named Gracie who will be 2 this December. Our son Eddie just turned 3 months and he is african american also. Both adoptions were domestic. We have an interracial family and get some crazy comments and questions when in public but I wouldn't change it for the world.

    A year ago a group of my girlfriends who've either all adopted or have struggled with infertility one way or another started getting together to talk and laugh about all the dumb comments people say to us.

    My friend Rebekah came up with the brilliant idea to write a book called What to Respect when not Expecting.

    It's going to be a compilation of a bunch of Womens stories who have struggled with infertility and adoption. The book is not yet finished. Rebekah needs more stories to put in her book. It's currently on kickstart. We are trying to get people to back the book. Or like the page on Facebook.

    My husband and I have a few videos up on her website talking about our adoptions and all the crazy comments people say to us. We even have a video up where I talk about a failed placement.

    I'd love to hear more of your story Alissa and possibly have it be published in the book.

    You can email me at
    I'd love to show you pictures of my kids :)

    I hope I am not bothering you. I just get excited when I see other women have
    adopted domestically as well.

    Have a great day! I hope to hear from you soon :-)